Wednesday, January 14, 2009

To Cut Or Not To Cut...That IS The Question

So Sydney wants to cut her hair SHORT. I, of course, am freaking out. Not because I don't think it will be cute and not because I just want her to have lovely long golden brown purely for selfish reasons. She's going to HATE it and I'm going to have to hear the constant complaining and crying. But, I have to let her do it.
Not to be disrespectful to my mother, BUT, she made me this way. My mom felt that since I had red hair, that I should NEVER EVER cut my hair...that it should be long. Well that's just plain child abuse. While my "blonde" sisters were out getting bangs and feathered haircuts and spraying "sun-in" in their hair for highlights, I was walking around with about 60 lbs of solid red hair on my head and feeling like Mama Cass. I had Crystal Gayle hair for many many years. Okay, maybe it wasn't that long (or even that pretty) but folks, it was so long that when I would take a seat I would be sitting on my hair. And my hair was you can only imagine the headaches I had. I told myself that I would never do this to my daughter. But now...I'm in this predicament and I'm really struggling with this.
I don't want her to cut her hair. Finally after many years of "scraggly cave man hair", her beautiful curls have emerged and I really like them. I know she just wants a change but her hair doesn't grow that fast and I'm worried the change isn't what she's going to want and then it'll be another year or two before we're back to where she originally was. UGGGHHHH!!! What to do, what to do! Nothing! That's just it. I'm going to take her to get her hair cut off and I'm going to hate it but I'm going to do it with a smile on my face because I'm a cool mom like that. (God, I can't believe I'm doing this!!!) At least she's not asking for a nose ring or a tattoo.


TinaB said...

Don't do it - her hair look so cute the other day at the shower. Is she sure???

~micahgirlaz~ said...

I went through this with my mom. I had long blond hair that was heavy and thick, and I sat on it too, which is why I wanted to cut it.

My mom told me that she would have someone cut it for me because she couldn't do it, my hair was too beautiful the way it was. Well, what did she know?! I cut it and cried and cried and cried. I became 'Gerald' from the Wallace and Ladmo Show.

But you know what? My mom never said I told you so. She just held me and promised it would grow back. I looked like a mushroom. Thick hair and round faces should NOT have short hair. Your daughter's hair will grow back, and her hair looks like it would look better than mine did short, but she'll never forgive you if you don't let her.

Just hold her if she hates it. :) And may the force be with you both. :p

~micahgirlaz~ said...

P.S. I LOVE Mama Cass. She was gone far too soon. What a kuinkydink that I have her on my Happy Blog playlist, huh?!

Anonymous said...

Paige went through this, maybe have Syd talk to Paige to see how she liked her hair when we went from waisteline to shaving the back of her neck! I never heard a complaint until years later when we were looking at pictures and she said, "why did you let me do that?" haha It's part of growing up and letting go of the control. I know .... it's hard. ~ Kat

Sunny ;D said...

Funny how the subject of to cut or not to cut really isn't about short or long hair but about the relationship between a mother and daughter. I don't know any woman who hasn't had to deal with this very issue with their mother. I think it must be because our hair is such a defining piece of who we are as a person. How we see ourselves and how others precieve us. So when a daughter wants to cut her hair it's as if she were saying "I want to be a different person."

Many Moms want daughters to be theirs, when they are young (or when they are 37!) they also want to protect you from every kind of heartache there is. They don't want to see you cry or be hurt! I speak only from my experience... letting our kids make decissions like these, even the bad ones is a very good thing. We show our kids we believe in them, that we support them even if we don't agree with or would make the same choice.(Violation of God's laws or principles is of course the only exception) We offer our advice and guidence based on experience and knowledge. What they do with it is up to them. It's pretty much the way Jehovah deals with all of us. I love his words.. "O if only you would actually pay attention..." But never will he force us to do what's best he just believes in us. I know I've learned the most from poor judgement and bad decissions. At 12 the concequences are far less sever than at 30.

Wow! I sure am going off on this one. It's because I'm in the middle of great emotional turmoil with my mother. I'm sure I'll blog about it soon. And God knows I'll need advice and support!

Your a good mother.

~Wrenn~ said...

I went through the same thing when I was like 8. You know how my dad is. He likes all of his girls to have long hair. Jana, River and I. He never wanted us to cut our hair.
I had long blonde hair and wanted to cut it. So when I went to visit my mom one weekend I told her I wanted to cut it. So my mom took me to the salon and they put it in a pony tail and cut it right off before I could even change my mind.
I liked it at first but then when I got home my dad freaked out. He got so mad that I cut my beautiful long blonde hair. So I started not to like it because my dad didn’t. I was glad I did it though.

For the first time I felt like I was grown up and got to make a big decision about my appearance.

I think you should let her. She might love it or she might end up hating it but at least you let her make the choice.

Mary Schneider said...

I have just the opposite problem. Jacob want's his hair long. It's making me crazy. I like simple, short boy cuts, but he's all about the long bangs that sweep across his eyebrows. I took him to get his hair cut the other day and they only "trimmed" it with scissors (no buzzers) and I swear he walked out looking just like he did when we walked in.

I figure, if this is his way of expressing his individuality and it gives him a healthy sense of independence, than so be it. If hair is all we are worrying about right now, than we can count our blessings!

Besides, remember how cute you looked with your "boy" cut when we were teenagers. I always envied the fact that you could pull that off. Sydney will be the same.

Anonymous said...

let her cut it! it's' the only way she'll be able to decide for her herself what she likes. it does grow back...she's getting to the age where she needs to assert her individuality, you's a pretty benign way to do it so i say go for it!

Madeleine is begging for straight to deal with that? i did the same thing ;) seems like the common theme.

Nicole's crazy Blog said...

Do we get the after pictures?

Melissa said...

Do it! When I was 13 my mother didn't want me to get my hair cut but I did it anyway AND IT CHANGED MY LIFE! I lost a ton of weight and found a ton of self-esteem.

And if it doesn't turn out well, it's just hair. It's not an arm or a leg. It's not a huge disaster and it can be fixed!

Mason Family said...

Cut it! I love short hair!

Anonymous said...

I think this is a hard one. I'm sure her hair would look cute short. Just don't let her do the "Peter Pan" haircut. I'm sure it'll be fine. She is a styish girl and it will grow back :)