Kids Tell It Like They See It

So I'm on this diet and I wanted to take a "before" and "after" photo. I come downstairs in my "before" outfit...sports bra and bikini bottom to have Scott take a picture of me...EEK! And #3...aka Luke...says to me "eeeeeeewwwww Mommy"... I'm like "what???" all defensivelike because I know exactly where this is headed and he says "you're GA-RROSSSS!" with emphasis on gross...where did he learn valley girl talk?

What's up with the "Dr. Evil" face?

Hmmm, I think I might take Luke for a car ride today.

Day Two....GRRRRR!!!

Day Two of my diet and I want to pretty much kill someone....

And then eat them!

I'm Going On A Diet!!!

Dylan's on a "SeeFood" diet. And from the looks of my butt and my gut I've been on the same diet for quite some time now. So on behalf of my butt, my gut, my quad chin (thanks Jen...love the quad chin!), my back fat, my kankles, we wish you a farewell...because starting Monday, I'm going on a diet!!! And not the "SeeFood" diet either. So please let me apologize ahead of time because if you thought I was a raging lunatic before....just wait till you hear my rants from being deprived of really really good food.

Now don't get me wrong, big girls are beautiful and I personally think fat people are happier jollier people (I'm a pretty happy person), but I also obsess about being skinny so I thought I would try it out and see what all the hype is about (...like I'm actually going to be skinny...HA!). And no, I'm not going to tell you how much I weigh or what kind of diet I'm doing...I'm not even sure myself but I will never devulge my weight...okay, well...maybe I will after I lose a few L...B...'s. Stay tuned!

My fat shadow bids you farewell too.

TO BE CONTINUED....

The Great Cookie Disaster

So I love to bake...especially in the winter. Cookies are my weakness. I LOVE LOVE LOVE cookies. There is no cookie I won't try and especially now since I have my cooking blog, I'm always looking for new recipes. So I found this yummy sounding cookie from this blog called Picky Palate. They were called Chocolate Cinnamon Crispers.

The recipe called for cinnamon chips. Now when I read this, I got all excited, because I remember that I had some cinnamon chips in the spice cabinet. I had bought them from this co-op that I buy fruits and veggies from. I'm not sure why I bought them...I'm sure they were cheap and I figured I would use them some time. I wasn't even sure what they were for but, needless to say, I had them so I was going to try the recipe out.

I got all the dough mixed together and got ready to stir my cinnamon chips in and noticed that they were kinda hard. I nibbled on one and as it moistened in my mouth, it did become a little softer. I figured they would just soften up in the baking process. So I proceeded. I baked them up. They smelled awesome and they looked super yummy. I couldn't wait to sink my teeth into one. I let them cool. I bit into one and almost broke a tooth. I thought...what the heck? So I kept eating it thinking maybe, just maybe I had gotten a bad chip. I ate the whole cookie, but it was hard...hard to eat that is. I kept chomping down on hard bits.

Well I didn't proceed with the rest of the mix. I was worried.

Scott came home from work and this is how the conversation went:

Scott: Smells good, what are you making?

Jaime: I was making cookies but I almost broke a tooth when I bit into one.

Scott (laughing): Well what did you put in them.

Jaime: These cinnamon chips that I bought from Bountiful Baskets.

Scott: Let me see them.

Scott examines the chips

Scott: Jaime, these are obvious WOOD.

Jaime: Really???

I go straight to the computer and look up these so called cinnamon chips...and lo and behold...I had eaten an entire cookie full of POTPOURRI.

I'm an idiot!!!

(What's your cooking disaster?)

Update: This is what I was supposed to use:

Only 5 1/2 Years Later

So I spent the whole day in the garage. And only 5 1/2 years later, I can finally park in it!

How do you like them apples?

BEFORE

AFTER

What a thing of beauty!

If you want to know what motivated me, you can read this POST.

Now don't get me wrong, there's still ALOT of stuff in there, but it's organized junk now...and I can park my car in there....WOOOOO-WEEEEEE...(as my g-ma Hazel would say.)

(And don't ask me why we have 9 bikes..yes 9!!!)

What the Heck does Booty mean?

I use the word "Booty" A LOT! I love that word. Sometimes I'll be in public and I'll say booty and people just stare at me like I'm crazy. From my last post, I likened my candy stash to my "booty"...and someone was like "what is that?" I can't believe there are actually people out there that don't know this word. It's one of the most awesome words EVER! It means alot of things but most of the time when I reference it, I'm talking about a "treasure".

And have you tried these? They are awesome!

Dirty Little Secret

I mentioned in my Twinkie post about my secret stash. So I'm giving it up! I know many of you moms and dads can relate to this...but probably more so the moms. Whenever the kids go down for a nap or go to bed at night, that means "snack time". I have this secret stash in my pantry. It's like the only time I can bust out with the "booty" because my kids are scavengers. If I let them in on the stash, they'll eat the whole thing and rob me of my joyous "snack time". Sometimes I can't wait for nap time or bedtime so I'll sneak away and steal a little morsel from my stash. Many a time I have been busted hiding in the pantry with a mouth full of chocolate. These darn raccoons these kids are. They can sniff out sugar miles away and know every trick in the book. Do any you guys have this problem? Please let me know so I don't feel alone.

And if you do read this post, please don't tell my kids about my dirty little secret or my plan will be foiled. And you don't want to see Jaime deprived of her precious chocolate.

Why, as parents, do our kids make us resort to this thievery and secrecy?

Yes, this picture was posed, obviously, but why do I look like such a crazy woman??? Could it be my hormones and being that close to a entire jar of chocolate? I have crazy woman eyes.

Tag, You're It!

Since I started doing this blogging thing I've noticed other bloggers play little games with each other and I was feeling a little left out until Mandy from Home With Mandy tagged me. I'm so excited because now I feel like a true blogger amongst bloggers. The way this works is that I have to tell 7 random or weird things about myself, which was extremely hard because I'm pretty much an open book already so I had to dig deep. Then after my 7 random or weird thoughts, I have to pick 7 other bloggers and tag them. So here ya go:

1. I love microwaves but have to act like I don't because Scott hates them.
2. I wanted to be a professional photographer when I was young.
3. I really don't have just 1 best friend and I kinda like it that way.
4. I want to move into a very very small house and get rid of everything to prepare myself for rough times ahead.
5. I love home parties of every kind, tupperware, pampered chef, etc., even if I don't buy anything, I love to go to them and I love to throw them.
6. If I had it my way, I would have a tea party every single day of my life.
7. When I can't find a toothpick, and need one REALLY bad, I pick my teeth with the post on my earring...eeewwww GROSS, I know...sorry.

They said weird so the last one definitely qualifies as weird and gross.

So there you go, this was really hard because everybody knows so much about me already. I need to tag 7 other blogs. This was also hard because I'm new to the blogger world but I'm going to take a stab at it. All the ones I picked are very new as well, so this should be interesting. So here ya go:

• Kristen


• Crystal


• Alec


• Mary


• Sheila


• MicahGirl
  
• Sunny E

Click on their names and it will take you to their blogs. I would have tagged Jen Ragan, but Mandy tagged her on our food blog...go check it out at j&j Dish It Out. All of you guys, here's the rules...Have FUN!

I'm Free!

So today I'm sick. Really Really Sick. In fact, so sick that I called Scott at work and begged him to come home and take care of the boys for me so I could get some rest. I told Luke that Daddy was coming home to take care of him. This is how the conversation went:

Me: Daddy's coming home.

Luke: Why?

Me: Because he's coming home to help mommy take care of you.

Luke: I don't need anyone to take care of me.

Me: What do you mean you don't need anyone to take care of you?

Luke: Well, I'm not sick.

Me: Well you still need someone to keep an eye on you.

Luke: No I don't.

So apparantly Luke doesn't think he needs supervision. It reminded me of that time I was sick like two years ago and I accidentally dozed off. I was pregnant with Dylan and I honestly could not help myself. I pulled Luke into bed with me and turned on the T.V. and went off into dream land. When I woke up, this is what I found:

That will teach me never to doze off and teach Sydney never to leave her play make up out.

It's my "Born" Day!

And I have nothing to say except....I'M OLD!

And I'm going back to bed.

Twinkies = Big Butt

So almost two years ago, Tina broke my CD player in my van (she tries to blame Sydney, but I know she did it..nice try Tina)...and because I'm so cheap, I have never taken the car in to get it fixed...you know money for diapers, wipes and internet kinda take precedence over money to fix CD player.

So about two weeks ago, Luke is screaming in the back of the car so I walk all the way to the back and hand him whatever he's screaming for and I back myself back to the driver's seat. Well in the process, my rear end hits the middle console which houses the CD player and I hear this sound...the sound of a CD ejecting from my radio. HOORAY, the CD player is fixed. So I call Scott to tell him the good news and his response "cool, all those Twinkies you ate paid off".

Well the point of this story is this: Twinkies are an Addiction (not sure how the point of the above story got to this point, but I didn't know how to tie the two in).

My cousin Jana came into town last weekend and brought me a gift. A twinkie holder. She knows I love twinkies and thought I might happen to need a holder one day for one of my twinkies. Okay, why is this starting to sound sexy...okay, back to the story.

How do you like the Horse's Butt in the background?

How fitting.

So last night I'm at the grocery store and I see Twinkies are on sale. I NEVER EVER buy these. For several reasons. 1) they are disgusting, in a good way, 2) I do think they are expensive and usually only buy them when we go to Mexico, and 3) you can't just stop at one!

So I'm thinking...well I do now have my holder and it would be pretty fun to try it out so I buy a box. I bring the box of Twinkies home and my kids FREAK OUT! Seriously folks, I'm not kidding...it was like a bunch of dogs to a bone. I'm the mean mommy that doesn't buy grody sweets like Twinkies or Sunny Delight...yuck. I do buy the occasional candy bar or granola bar and I do have my own stash (more on that later), but I really don't buy crappy stuff like Twinkies. If we want dessert, I just bake something.

Anyhoo, today the boys both went down for a nap at the same time...HALLELUAH...and nap time means snack time. So where do I go...straight for the twinkie box...and eat...not ONE...but TWO twinkies. Not even one of them made it into the cozy little twinkie holder. Geez...I got problems!

Side note: This kid Ian HERE is cute! I guess he has my problem too.